Holidays on Holiday Chapter One: Rudolph - Part Two

This is the end of my Rudolph gang chapter. It ends pretty sadly. Get a tissue box ready! But don't worry, Santa and Rudolph will be back in later chapters as jolly as ever...or not. I haven't decided. You'll see when the plot thickens.

Present time…

“A’ight, check this out,” said LaShawn. “You gonna be telling ‘yo momma’ jokes. We’re lookin’ for delivery, humor, and timing of your jokes.” He walked over to the uneasy reindeer and whispered in his antler. “Show him that yo’ worthy of bein’ in this hood.”

Miguel gave Rudolph an appalling look, one both nasty and irritating. However, the jolly bright-nosed animal just smiled brightly.

“May the best man win,” he calmly said, sticking out his hoof.

The crew was laughing drastically at Rudolph.

“Shut up!” LaShawn yelled. The blabbering immediately stopped, making the Vegas streets silent. “Let’s battle.”

The Hispanic gang member started. “Yo’ momma so hairy that when she goes to NYC, on the top of the Empire State Building, people mistake her for King Kong.” No one cheered.

Rudolph just stood there, on fours, smiling.

LaShawn whispered in his antler again. “It’s your turn.”

“Oh,” the reindeer replied. He faced Miguel. “Well, I personally don’t know your mother, so I can’t really say anything about her. Besides, even if I did, I wouldn’t talk about her behind her back. Honestly, I don’t know why you’d guess that my mother is hairy.” No one cheered, either.

Then, a light-skinned wannabe gangster emerged from the crowd. “Hey, it took a lot of guts to say that.” Everyone agreed.

“Yeah,” said an Asian gentleman. “I guess MTV was wrong all this time. Yo’ momma jokes are pointless.” No one agreed.

Just then, everyone started cheering for Rudolph, except for Miguel.

LaShawn even gave the reindeer a pat on the head. “Yo, you wanna join the crew?”

Rudolph opened his mouth, but before any words could deposit from his lips, a gargantuan red sleigh crashed onto the street.

Santa hopped out intoxicated with tequila. “Boy was it hard piloting that plane by myself.”

Rudolph looked puzzled. “You mean that it was hard flying the sleigh by yourself?”

“Yeah, that too,” he replied.

“But, how did you fly the sleigh without any reindeer?” asked Rudolph.

Santa, getting slightly more sober by the second, began his extensive story.
“Well…” he started.

Ten minutes later…

“…so therefore, I was able to fly.”

Rudolph and the entire gang were amazed. “How did you know to do that?” wondered LaShawn.

“Just some advanced trigonometry I learned in my senior year of high school.”

“Duh!” interrupted the Asian.

“You went to high school?’ asked Miguel, ignoring the intellectual.

Saint Nick scratched his beard. “Doesn’t everyone?”

“Well, I’m a middle school drop-out…” He seemed embarrassed.

The large man’s eyes lit up. “Ho, ho, hold on there! You’re Miguel Gomez, right? You were on my naughty list four years in a row. All you got those years were big lumps of coal. But guess what that means?” He smiled his traditional jolly smile and stared at Miguel.

“That I’m getting presents this year?” he wondered.

No,” Santa chuckled. “It means you’re a horrible person.” The gang laughed at the tiny Latino.

LaShawn looked at Rudolph. “ So, you never said. Do you wanna join the crew?”

The gang turned silent, as well as Santa. Everyone stared at Rudolph, even Miguel. And Rudolph smiled naturally and said, “Where I belong is with Santa, not a gang. Thank you anyway.”

Warning! The following part in the story is too graphic to be said regularly, so it will be written in poem format.

Then LaShawn and his gang ran in an angry mob,
after Rudolph and Santa which is not a hard job.

For Santa is obese, and Rudolph’s no jogger,
and it didn’t help that Saint Nick was all after the egg nog.
So the crew tackled them to the ground in their wrath,
and threatened them for their sleigh or death.

Santa frowned. “I need that sleigh for good girls and boys.
In that sleigh, I have all their toys.”

Of course that gang didn’t care,
and they ran quickly to it, hijacked it.
Not fair!

Santa and Rudolph lay in the Las Vegas streets.
They had lost, which they feared.
There would be no Christmas this year.

Now don’t get sad ‘cause that ending wasn’t happy.
I mean, there are more stories that are quite foolish and sappy.
I have more tales that need to be told.
This next one happened a couple years ago.